So, we’ve just added three new USA-inspired flavors to our already insanely wide variety of Handcrafted Vodka Flavours (Doughnut, Cupcake Frosting or Peanut Butter And Jelly, anyone?), so it only seems right to pay tribute to the great nation of excess which is the good ol’ US of A. Here’s a quick list of ten things it got totally right, and a few things it could have done better…
Yeah – sure it’d be lovely to savor a painstakingly crafted blob of snail foam at Heston Blumenthal’s restaurant, but at the end of the day, why bother when you can clog your heart with warmth (and saturated fat) with a Triple-Decker Baconator from Wendy’s?
Mountain Dew Code Red? Dr Pepper Cherry Vanilla? Fanta Grape?! America – we salute you for having a soft drink selection that’s (almost) as impressive as our variety of vodkas.
You know what’s better than avant garde French new-wave cinema? Watching a bunch of super-powered humans save the universe in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Cheers Hollywood, for never being weird and pretentious.
Try to think of one person who doesn’t like Taylor Swift. Seriously, try it. It’s literally impossible. EVERYONE IS A SWIFTY.
Disneyland and Universal Studios in one city? YES PLEASE!
America is a country where The Terminator can become a governor and Kanye West can legitimately announce a presidential campaign. Worrying – maybe? Awesome – definitely!
Las Vegas – the only town in the world that’s so outrageously fun, you’re actually obligated to keep it a secret. Also, it made No.2 on our list of best non-UK cities to party in, so you KNOW it must be awesome.
Is it just us, or is everything in America basically half price?
A large Slurpee costs about $2, comes in a million different flavors and is basically like a slush puppy that doesn’t leave you with a load of ice at the bottom of your cup. WIN.
Everyone has that friend who went to New York and won’t stop moaning because they don’t live in New York. They’re so annoying, right? Really, what’s so good about NEW YORK?! To be fair, it is arguably the greatest city in the world. Don’t take our word for it – look what TimeOut had to say.
And a few things it didn’t:
Surely, SURELY we have seen enough of this family? Wait – what’s that? Keeping Up With the Kardashians has just been renewed for 3 more seasons?! Come on America, you’re better than this!
Perhaps the most infamous booze in the world, it costs about $3 for a half-liter can of this lethal 12% alcohol content beverage. It might come in three different flavors, but they all result in the same, brutal, bad-quality alcohol induced hangover. Be Revolution smart, and stick to triple-distilled Vodka.
As you can see, there are plenty of reasons to salute America for proving to the world that freedom truly is awesome. But until you’ve saved up enough for that first-class ticket to LA, why not book a table at your local Revolution and get a taste of the American dream by giving our new Vodka Flavours a whirl?