Without labour, nothing prospers
– Sophocles, Ancient Greek philosopher and playwright
Yeah, easy for him to say. He probably just sat around all day on a Grecian beach in his loose-fitting tunic dipping flatbread into houmous and writing the occasional fancy thought down.
He never had to sit in an office for 40 hours a week with nothing but BBC Radio 6 for company.
Oh well – there is one way to stay positive about work. And that’s by daydreaming that you’re not there. Here are 10 thoughts we’ve all had at work:
‘Today is going to be a good day’
Out of all the outlandish thoughts you’ll have at work, this is by far the most ridiculous.
Remember, there are no good days at work. There are only bad days and worse days.
‘ I need a Coffee more than anything in the world’
It’s a strange, mildly bitter beverage that doesn’t look appetizing and really, isn’t actually that appetizing.
That doesn’t change the fact that every cup of it is like a warm cup of butter for your soul. Thank you coffee, for always being there for us.
‘That’s it – I’m starting my own business’
Yeah – it’s so easy. Save up. Take time off work. Set up a business. Make money. Never work again.
Oh wait – that would require responsibility. Probably a lot of it. Too much in fact. Yeah – it’s not gonna happen.
‘If I was the boss, I would…’
Let us guess – if you were in charge there’d be a breakfast buffet laid out every morning and everyone would get 3 hours for lunch, as well as free beer and wine all day.
The trouble is, as a business owner, you might actually want to be responsible with your expenditures, so all of those options are off the table.
‘Where shall I book my holiday?’
You can go anywhere you like. After all, when you’re earning a wage, the world is your oyster.
Unfortunately, you are your boss’ oyster, and you know they’re going to be a real pain about that two weeks you need off to go to Coachella 2016.
‘One day, I’ll be the boss around here’
You’ll show everyone. You’ll work hard, be more assertive, and slog away until you’re at the top. Give it 20 – 30 years, thousands of hours of dedication and you’ll maybe, just maybe become one of the big guys.
Eurgh. By that point, will you even care if you are?
‘I can’t wait for lunch’
By the time it hits 1pm, the idea of food is literally sending you crazy.
And so it should – go to the right place, and you’re lunch can actually be a genuinely awesome highlight of your day.
Or you could pick up a Tesco meal deal instead. Yay. Fun for everyone.
‘What even is life?’
By the time it hits 3pm, the existential angst has started to settle in.
Time seems to have slowed down to a halt. You’ve forgotten what day it is. You wonder what you even are, and how you let things get this way.
It’s nearly 5pm – time to chill out
It’s like an unwritten rule that as the day draws to a close, it’s acceptable to chill out a little, and for some reason everyone starts to get a little bit slacky.
Totally illogical, but hey, if everyone’s doing it, why the hell not?
Freedom, sweet, sweet freedom!
You might be stuck on a slow-moving double decker bus, but after a long day chained up in the office, this is EXACTLY what the commute home feels like.
Work is such a drag, this list barely starts to cover all of the different thoughts your mind will encompass throughout the day.
However, there’s only one definite way to make all of those grim thoughts disappear, and that’s treating yourself to some great cocktails and awesome food.