There was a time when Christmas jumpers weren’t ironic. That time has long since passed, and we’ve got to a point now where it’s expected that a Christmas jumper is worn ironically.

For the most part, this proves to be a lot of fun for everyone, as we all have a giggle at a each other’s cute and colourful Christmas knit. However, there is a dark side to this. With all of this Christmas irony flying round, there’s always someone willing to take it too far.

Here are seven festive jumpers that threaten to strike at the very heart of  Christmas itself.

YOU KNOW WHEN THOSE SLEIGH BELLS RING…

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…that can only mean one thing. In this case, that ‘thing’ is the sound of Christmas being used to market absolutely anything. Because Drake and Christmas are a match made in heaven, right? Buy it here, if you must.

BREAK THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

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Poor Santa. You didn’t deserve this. You’re famous for being generous and kind. She’s famous for being naked…and well…that’s about it. On behalf of humanity, we’re sorry St. Nick. If you want to help tarnish Santa’s image, here‘s where you can buy it.

EVERY LITTLE HELPS

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For those of you who think we’ve lost sight of the true spirit of Christmas, here’s a basic range jumper to help you get back to the fundamentals.

THIS CAN’T BE ELFY

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Because nothing says ‘Christmas’ more than casually dressing like one of Santa’s deranged gift-making slaves. It’s cute when Will Ferrel does it, but THAT WAS A MOVIE. Grab yourself one here.

ROCKIN’ AROUND THE STRIPPER’S POLE

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We’re not even going to start pointing out what’s wrong about this jumper. For a start, aren’t humans and elves a different species? Is this a form of mild inter-species erotica? Are they….forget it….we promised we wouldn’t go down this road. Verdict: WRONG.

REINDEER GAMES

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We always wondered what was involved in those ‘reindeer games’ Rudolph wasn’t allowed to join in with. Maybe it was for the best. Buy it here, you weirdo.

FOR THE LOVE OF DOG

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If we want to turn ourselves into awful Christmas decorations for a day, that’s fine, but is it really fair to drag our canine friends into it as well? Absolutely not, but if you must you can get one here.

If you ever needed proof that human’s are very capable of ruining a beautiful thing, this list is it. Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, and thanks to these jumpers we don’t think we want any part in it.

Want to get your Christmas spirit back? Book your celebration with us. We know what festive feels like, and it’s definitely not got anything to do with perverted elves.

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