Is your staff Christmas party going to be one that makes you hang your head in shame, or roar triumphantly like you conquered Sparta? Only time will tell. Each year, you hope it’s better than the last and promise you’ll keep on the right side of Santa’s naughty and nice list.
It’s inevitable though. If you’ve been to a work Christmas do or two in your lifetime, you’ll find yourself going through the same stages year after year. Which ones of these do you see in yourself?
1. You arrive looking fresh as hell
Frantically, you searched through the shops the last few weeks and picked an outfit that strikes the right balance. It feels like ‘wear your own clothes day’ in school as it’s one of the only opportunities to show off your effortless style (unless you work somewhere like an agency!).
2. You greet everyone and start taking group selfies
The night commences and it’s now the right time to take the selfies before those cocktails kick in.
Tip: Take your selfies before you look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards!
3. Someone shouts: “Let’s get drinks!”
You graciously smile and ask your boss “What are you getting?”. Secretly, you hope this will prompt them to turn round and say, “Nah, don’t worry, I’ll get yours”. You know you’ve mastered this psychological technique when they generously order you three drinks in one go.
4. You impatiently wait for the food because you’ve starved yourself after lunch
When the glorious food finally arrives, everyone will dig in like a bunch of vultures. However, there will also be one veggie who firmly requests that their meal is cooked a metre away from any morsel of meat. Unfortunately for them, no one will respectfully wait for their meal to show up. You want food and you want it now!
5. The office “not a couple yet, but it’s getting there” start moving closer to each other
Your colleagues start making subtle hints to each other, especially when they sit together and ignore everyone else. Then there’s gobby Gaz wearing his Sunday best, who very blatantly shouts “ARE YOU GONNA NECK OFF, OR WHAT?!”
6. The tunes start blasting and people shimmy towards the dancefloor
Your song comes on and you head straight for the dancefloor, dragging someone else with you who isn’t quite ready to bust some moves. Like a puppeteer, you’ll force them against their own will to join in on the ever so classic Christmas side step. You may be the puppet.
7. You forget about sticking with the sober selfies and continue posing with glazed over eyes
You’ve had one too many and you’re stumbling more than a newborn horse. The added flash worsens your blurred vision and you’re completely unaware of what’s going on. Little do you know that you’ll be in many a photo throwing back those Pina Coladas like there’s no tomorrow.
8. You witness the office couple engaging in tonsil tennis
No matter how amazing people think kissing is, it looks horrendous to everyone else. No one wants to see someone’s tongue go on another spin cycle. It’s funny for a few minutes but then everyone will back away, especially if they continue exchanging saliva for the rest of the night.
9. You’ve had a cracking night at your local Revolution, but it’s time to go home!
Whether slurring or not, you’ve had a cracking night, but now it’s time to sleep it off. We know you’ve a had a belting night with your workmates, and experienced many a thing never to be spoken of again, so how about doing the double by booking your New Year’s Eve party with Revolution too?
Do you want a staff Christmas party where we’ve got something for everyone, from the shy guy in IT to loud mouth Lucy in accounts? Here at Revs, we take care of everything so you can enjoy the festivities and take all the drunk selfies you want. We won’t judge, promise!