You wake up on the morning of 25th December and notice that it’s the year 2045. You must have knocked back an awful lot of Russian Vodka last night.
You knew there was something unusual about the taxi that looked like Doc Brown’s Delorean. It’s now 2045. This is how to spend Christmas in the future…
Super Speed Transport
Uber? Oh, that’s so 2015. Put away your iPhone 23S as there’s actually self-driving cars and no roads. So, it’s goodbye holiday traffic frustrations and hello to spending extra time with those relatives who you just love to hate. Seasons greetings!
Christmas Food Shopping is Now Extinct
‘Pfft, you still go to Tesco extra-extra-extra to buy your Christmas Turkey and pay £5 for a bag?’
‘Well, I just went to the fridge and everything was already there.’
No, online food shopping hasn’t just stepped up a gear whereby the delivery guy actually comes into your house and puts the food away, rather than just dumping it on your doorstep, food teleportation has now been invented.
King William’s Christmas Day Speech
King William, now bald as a coot, in his 63rd year and still absolutely adored by the world. Meanwhile, the 32-year-old dream-boat bachelor that is Prince George will be getting every supermodel under his holographic-mistletoe.
Bloody hell! Christmas Decorations have changed
Forget the shedding pine needles or the dreaded trip up to the loft, we guarantee that Christmas decorations will now appear when and where you want them to, with absolutely no mess.
Who will be Christmas number one in 2045?
If the charts still exist, you can guarantee that Eric Cowell, the son of Lord Simon, will be at the forefront of the pop industry, albeit still carry his father’s legacy of high-waisted jeans, aviator sunglasses and unusual shaved middle-parting.
Better still, did you hear the news that 94-year-old Sir Bob Geldof wants the guys back together to record Band Aid 60?
Christmas parties at Revolution in 2045
Obviously, Christmas parties at Revolution are as well-established as the Queen’s (ahem, King’s) Speech now, but in 2045 we wonder whether everyone else will have had enough time to catch us up. With self-service bars, and money all digital, there’s no need to search for change, queue up or even open your mouth to order food or drink (or anything for that matter).
Still wondering how to spend Christmas in 2045? Don’t worry, we’ll still be throwing great parties in some of the best Christmas party venues in town. Oh, and the city of London will only be open for those with a golden ticket.