We’ve all been there. Last night you were the life and soul of the party, everyone wanted a picture of you and they definitely loved seeing your David Brent impression seventeen times.
But now it’s the morning, and it feels like seventeen tiny David Brents are using your brain to practice the merengue. You’re hungover AF. The miserable yang to a glorious party’s gin.
Wait. It’s yin, isn’t it? Look, okay, we’re struggling too.
Now, you could throw in the puke-stained towel and text your Mum the deets of your preferred funeral playlist. Sure. Or, you could leave the 53 minutes of Lana Del Rey for another time and get these things in your belly ASAP.
Bacon, Bacon and more bloomin’ bacon
Are you waiting for an accompaniment? Look, you’re on death’s door here, you can’t be getting fussy on us now. If need be, stick a few slices on cheap squidy white and make your choice between red or brown sauce.
Take it from us, bacon isn’t just a hangover cure. It’s better than any bae too. While true love happens once in a lifetime, bacon can happen eleven times a day, if you want it to.
We loaf you, bread
Bread is probably the best food in the entire world.
You can enjoy bread hot, cold, fried, and even with bloody crisps in between. You might not know it yet, but bread is the only food worthy of BFF status AND it will even stay loyal when you run off and do the Atkins diet for 18 hours.
We don’t deserve you, bread. And we’ll try to stop people covering you in avocados, we promise.
It’s Friday, so the chances are you’re going to need a bit of this medicine tomorrow morning.