January’s annual suck-fest – Blue Monday – is fast approaching. The third Monday of the month got its moody moniker for (supposedly) being ‘the most depressing day of the year’.
Basically we’re all poorest, loneliest and most longing for summer, which is no surprise really, as it’s probably peeing it down outside.
Now, we know that your bank account’s taken a battering. We know that the button on your jeans won’t do up. We know that, if you were to update your Tinder profile, you’d use that tanned photo from Tenerife 2013 which is, in fact, a total misrepresentation of the human being you truly resemble RN. But we don’t mind. We love you anyway. And we’d definitely still buy you a drink.
But which one? To help you choose, we’ve given a few of our cocktails a happiness rating… Here’s how they’ll help you banish that b*stard Blue Monday, once and for all.
The Garden Reyka
If you’re feeling down, this delightful drink will help put a spring in your step once more. Made from Reyka vodka, elderflower cordial, apple juice and lime, then topped with Red Bull Tropical Edition – it’s like skipping through an orchard, wearing a flower crown then downing a double vodbull. Totally groovy!
Happiness rating: 8.5/10
We promise we’re not leading you up the Garden (Reyka) path… Okay, we may be a little, but this one’s the perfect pick-me-up!
If Blue Monday got you in a horrible mood, you my friend need a sugar hit! Our Bubblegum Daiquiri will do just the trick. Bubblegum Handcrafted Flavour, bubblegum syrup, lemon and apple juice… Sweet enough to get you smilin’ again!
Happiness rating: 9/10
By the time the rush kicks in, you’ll be buzzin’ like a broken fridge. Just throw on a bit a Fiddy-Cent and take it to the Candy Shop baby, yeah!
Long Icelandic Tea
The inhabitants of Iceland are the third happiest people in the world, so who better to look to for ways to beat Blue Monday?
Icelanders have the longest life expectancy, the most ‘neighbourly’ population, cool lunar-like landscapes made from million-year-old lava and a huge, bubbling geothermal pool (a.k.a natural hot tub) named the Blue Lagoon.
In honour of all that, we present our Long Icelandic Tea. It’s a big, blue, boozy mix of Reyka Vodka, Olmeca Tequila, Peach Handcrafted Flavour, Blue Curaçao, lemon juice, and Ting. Tada! Take that, Blue Monday!
Happiness rating: 10/10
Need cheerin’ up? Just chill. Thanks to the Icelanders’ inspiration (and that amount of booze) Blue Monday doesn’t stand a chance with this blissful beverage.
First of all, we know that anything with GIANT in the name makes people happy. Giant Pandas. Giant Monster Munch. The B.F.G for heaven’s sakes. We’re already cheered up… Thinking of reading Roald Dahl stories, cuddling a big black-’n’-white bear and scoffing tasty, pickled-onion maize snacks. Mmmm.
All that, plus a Giant Rumbull will really get your party started. It’s loaded with three different kinds of happy (that’s rum, red bull and fruit juice) guaranteed to give you a warm, alcoholic energy quite unlike any other. Better yet? It’s a sharer, so you can brighten up your bestie’s day too.
Happiness rating: 12/10
They say misery loves company right? Well, after a few of these, you and your pal will be too turnt up to notice. Blue Monday who?
We’ve got all these (and many more!) waiting to boost your mood, why not check out our drinks menu and choose which one would cheer you up most?
Then get down here and give Blue Monday the kick in the balls it deserves… Because there’s no time to feel down when you’re on the dancefloor!