Been gifted a God-awful winter jumper? What about those wacky trainers you’re guaranteed to never wear? We’ve all received the Christmas present from hell at some point, so here’s a list that’ll help you put even the world’s worst presents to good use.
An ugly mug (or even worse, one with an awkward, uncomfortable handle) has no place in any respectable tea drinker’s home. If you’ve received a minging and unmanageable mug, don’t worry – you can still get some use out of it.
If it’s a big one (that’s what she said), why not use it as a funky plant pot? Those tiny, fancy Ikea trees will fit perfectly and… voilà! Your very own indoor eden.
If you’re not so green-fingered (or if plants tend to wither and die when you look at them) then grab yourself some pens, paper clips, and chewed up pencils and tadaa! A homemade desk-tidy!
Crap Christmas jumpers
“Cheers nan, I can wear this wonderfully itchy jumper just one day a year!” Said no-one ever. Unless you’re a hipster that will wear Granny’s knitted gifts ironically, it’s time to plan a retro-themed party for you and your pals.
Saunter into the room and your dreadful dreary pullover will grab everybody’s attention – the more ghastly the better.
Not brave enough? Then regift it to your dog. Your faithful canine friend will make excellent use of this (unwanted) errant finery, either as a basket or bed-lining, or snipped into a cutesy sausage-dog-sized sweater. Awww.
Utterly boring books
The Art of Knitting. Accounting Explained. Alex Reid – A Biography.
To some, these titles represent hours of enjoyable literary downtime. To others, they deserve to be used as kindling. Hmmm. If some cheap sod gifted you a terrible, charity-shop-worthy title this year then don’t fret – simply turn it around and use it as a ‘spine-facing-inwards filler’ for your bookshelf.
No one will know, and your home will look like a house of learned doctors, packed with literature and smelling of rich mahogany. And if anyone says otherwise, simply say “You’re not a doctor… you’re a big, fat, curly-headed fu…” You get the picture.
Failing that (if your Will Ferrell impression wasn’t great, at least you tried) a terrible book makes for a great furniture wedge – ideal for balancing a wonky table.
Okay, we’re kidding – we know those suggestions suck. Here’s what you can genuinely do if one (or worse, more!) of your Christmas presents was next-level lousy.
It doesn’t make you ungrateful… If anything, you’re doing the gift-giver a favour by actually getting their money’s worth! Remember – January returns windows fly by rapidly, so get up off your butt, brave the shops and don’t get distracted by the sales.
Haven’t got the receipt? Or just haven’t got the heart to ask for it? If you don’t want a credit note for the Next homeware section, stick your unwanted pressie on eBay (or indeed any one of the million market-place style sites that have popped up in recent years).
You’ll probably get a few quid, and who knows, you might actually find out what the point behind SHPOCK – the bootsale app – actually is! (If you do, please tell us.)
Regifting may be considered socially, morally, culturally wrong (‘cause you’re heartlessly passing on presents) but it can be a handy way of clearing out your unwanted (and frankly, rather vile smelling) toiletries.
You’ll save money on other people’s presents too, which may be controversial (read: cheap!) but makes financial sense. Just for heaven’s sake make sure your rewrap, use a new label and don’t say anything snobby down the pub (i.e. “The 90s called. They want their scents back.”) when you get a whiff of regifted Lynx Africa or worse… Charlie Red.
Ah, that warm fuzzy feeling from doing something charitable – yes, it will totally counteract the waves of guilt you’re guaranteed to get from ditching unwanted gifts in the first place.
Charity shops will gladly take the items you don’t want (so long as they’re working, clean and legal, of course) and someone, somewhere will benefit, by bagging themselves a bargain! Ah, doesn’t giving just feel so damn good?!
If you’ve been unlucky enough to get a load of crummy presents this year, don’t despair – just get rid of ‘em quick, and buy yourself something BEAUTIFUL instead. We’ve got a great idea… How’s about your very own Revolution Card?
For just £3 (you can definitely make than on Shpock!), you’ll get you’ll get 50% off food, 2-4-1 selected cocktails and the heavenly Book Of Legend, stuffed with £100 worth of insanely great vouchers. Happy late-Christmas you!