Okay, let’s be real, it’s not easy ridin’ solo when mid-February rolls around.
Thinking of getting out of the house?
Well, prepare for minor PDA, major PDA and all your favourite places fully-booked and brimming with couples doing, guess what, more bloody PDA.
That’s fine, you’ll pop on social media for a browse instead?
Nope, not an option. Unless of course you want to be reminded that even that weird kid from school (the one who would staple his/her lips together for classroom LOLs) has a relationship and you, with perfectly normal, never-stapled lips, do not.
So what can you do? Remember, Valentine’s Day isn’t all bad if you’re single.
In fact, we’re coming round to the idea after seeing some of these god-awful Valentine’s gifts. Seriously, if you’re single, these pressies will make you count your lucky stars that you’re alone AF. And if you’re currently paired up? PLEASE don’t think any of these are a good idea…
Eating your problems with Edible Underwear
Usually, we’d be all over edible gifts.
But a romantic meal-for-two, this is not.
As far as we’re concerned, beef jerky boxers are enough to make the most hardcore of carnivores think twice before ordering their next steak. And with eBay listings for candy panties and liquorice thongs stating only worn once, this is a gift that will struggle to keep bae sweet.
Just run away from any Gym Membership ideas
Take it from us, just don’t do it. Ever.
What if boo set a New Year’s resolution to exercise more? It’s such a no.
But what if I’m sure they want one? Not on Valentine’s Day, they don’t.
But what if – DON’T DO IT. NO. BAD.
Remember that deodorant is extremely flammable…
Because nothing says ‘I love you’ like deodorant with 48-hour advanced protection.
Even if your favourite pet name is ‘Smelly’ (ew), getting your significant other a deodorant gift-set is a sure way to make Valentine’s Day a stinker.
‘Only terrible people buy self-help books as Valentine’s gifts’
With real titles such as ‘1000 Ways to be a Slightly Better Woman’, ‘Real Men Don’t Lay on the Couch All Day’ and the classic ‘10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives’… self-help books are never the way forward for V-Day.
So instead save self-help books for, uh, never.
If you like it you should not put a diamond ring keychain on it
This is the Greek tragedy of Valentine’s Day gifts.
It was an idea that started out with so much promise. But by the end, someone’s going to end up blind and nobody will be laughing.
Tattoos are forever, you know?
Is that my name? My, uh, name? On your forearm? Where it will be seen? In that font? With a love heart behind it?
After two months?
If having your name permanently tattooed onto someone isn’t enough to appreciate ridin’ solo… we don’t know what will.
Don’t fancy receiving any of these horror-show gifts?
We completely understand. Go and get yourself a present you’re deffo gonna love. Pull it out the bag this year with a Revolution card and get enjoying 2-4-1 on selected cocktails, 25% off food and a ton more amazing food and drink offers.
Then you can say ‘Awww, how did you know?!’ and give yourself a big, wet, smoochie snog. <3