Dry January – that weird month after Christmas when everybody pretends to be a much better person than they actually are. Why does this happen?
Because in reality, when left to our own devices, we become absolute chimps driven by a basic urge to cram as much food and alcohol into our bodies as space and time will allow. It’s shameful.
So Dry January is essentially our way of pretending that Christmas never happened.
But since you’re committing to this sinless regime, we thought we may as well help you out. To suit the theme of pretending to be all pure and good and sweet, here’s the recipe for our very own Soft Pornstar mocktail.
25ml agave sryup
50ml passionfruit purée
75ml orange juice
1⁄4 passionfruit & 1 shot glass of soda
Fill a boston glass halfway with ice. Pour in the agave syrup, passionfruit puree and orange juice and shake vigorously for 7 seconds. Strain the contents into a martini glass. Finish up by garnishing it with the 1/4 passion fruit and serve with a shot of soda on the side.
There you have it – it’s fruity, it’s delicious, and it’s alcohol free. So you can enjoy an awesome cocktail and still feel smug about how healthy and 100% totally toxin-free you are.
Even though you know you’ll be paying us a visit for a real cocktail in a couple weeks time, you phony.
Or if you wanted to, you could scrap all of this Dry January malarkey this instant and get making one of our cocktails. Take a look: