Okay – let’s get something straight here. The last time we checked, Star Wars fans were those people whose presence would only go noticed by the trail of body odour they left behind on their way to Games Workshop.
Now Primark is selling Chewbacca onesies, indicating to us that there has clearly been a major disturbance in the force.
Indeed, Star Wars mania has swept the nation – and since we’re here to sell cocktails, we’re being forced to fight against our nerd-bashing instincts and get on board the bandwagon. Talk about integrity eh?
Watch as we do our best to make Star Wars cool by comparing each character to a cocktail of ours. Let’s hope the force is with us, or something like that.
Han Solo is the Strawberry Woo Woo
It doesn’t matter how intense the situation gets (as in, warp speeding through an asteroid field intense), Han Solo always manages to slip in some kind of wisecrack. He’s the cheekiest chappie in the Star Wars universe, and there’s no one who doesn’t love him. A bit like our extra-cheeky Strawberry Woo Woo, which is so sweet and loveable it even comes with a pile of strawberry laces served on the top.
Princess Leia is the Peanut Butter Martini
This princess is totally rebellious royalty. After her home planet was destroyed by Vader’s Deathstar, Leia took revenge into her own hands. You’ll never see Kate Middleton fighting alongside the Ewoks on the forest moon of Endor, but Leia is totally up for some space scrapping. That’s why she’s the Peanut Butter Martini – she might be borne of a high-quality pedigree, but she’s not afraid to throw out the rule book.
Luke Skywalker is the Superfruit Nojito
Luke Skywalker is the son of one of the most evil men in the universe, but he is entirely devoted to the force of good. In fact, he’s so nice that it gets a bit annoying – especially when he’s harping on about his genocidal father still being ‘good on the inside’ for the majority of the first film. That’s why he’s the Superfruit Nojito mocktail – really, really nice, but a part of you wants there to be a little bit of bad in there somewhere.
Darth Vader is the Amaretto Sour
Once upon a time, a young Darth Vader wanted to become the greatest force of good in the universe. Skip to a decade later, and he’s fully into the dark side and knee-deep in the blood of a mercilessly slaughtered group of young Jedi padawans. So yeah, he kind of went the other way. Vader started off sweet and quickly turned sour, a bit like our Amaretto Sour, whose sweet undertones can still be detected by those who believe in the redemptive power of love.
Jabba the Hutt is the Movie House Shake
All this slithering, overgrown horrible mess does all day is eat food, drink and feed prisoners to the rancor for his own pleasure. He’s a beacon of indulgence – a bit like our Movie House Shake blended cocktail, which is chock full of so much vodka, cream, ice cream, salted caramel and popcorn that you’ll soon have a Hutt-like figure if you drink too many of them.
Darth Sidious is the Negroni
This dude is a bitter, cynical old mofo with nothing good going for him at all in the conventional sense. But if you’re taste is a little bit out there, his brand of evil might be right down your alley. A bit like the N egroni – it’s got a unique, acquired taste, but once you’ve sworn your loyalty to it, there’s no way out.
Now since you’re all going Star Wars mad, and we’ve forced links between Star Wars and our cocktails, you should in theory be well up for checking out more of our cocktails.
That’s us attempting to go all Darth Sidious with some morally questionable mental manipulation right there.