It doesn’t happen very often, it takes over the world it does and once it starts you can’t help but get into it. No, we’re not talking about Take That reunions – we’re on about The Olympics. “But what has elite sport got to do with awesome cocktails and vodka?”, we hear you cry. Well, not a lot tbf, but the boss has told us to write something about The Olympics so whadaya gonna do?
Right, let’s get to it. There’s only one way to get through the hours of fencing, dressage and trap shooting and that is with tons of alco-
Oh hang on. We don’t want our lovely readers to be drinking irresponsibly, so instead of using spirits and beer and stuff we DEMAND that you use smoothies, fruit juice or, ideally, water for these drinking games. NO ALCOHOL FOR THESE GAMES YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE SCAMPS, GOT THAT?
Land of dope and glory
Every time a Russian athlete wins a medal have a shot of clear, potent liquid from Russia’s own Podkumok valley. We’re talking about Essentuki mineral water, obviously.
Pass me a gold one
Whenever a GB athlete wins a gold medal (which will be ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, AMIRITE?) you have to drink two fingers of a chilled, craft drink from an artisan-designed bottle that exudes Britishness. Like a Frobisher’s Pure Orange, maybe?
The cliche chug
We all know commentators love rolling out the standard Olympic phrases. So, every time you hear a ‘they’ve worked for four years to get here’ or ‘she’s showed real passion there’ you have to drink a full glass of intense, pure hedonistic energy. Whole milk, maybe?
Usain in the membrane
The fastest man in the world gets mentioned A LOT during The Olympics. Each time you hear the words ‘Usain’, ‘Bolt’, or ‘Usain Bolt’ or – well you get the idea – you need to have a shot of one of the Caribbean’s finest fizzy concoctions. We’re talking about Ting, of course!
And there you have it. A few games to heighten the suspense during your Olympics viewing, and all with NO ALCOHOL (seriously though, please drink responsibly at Revolution, or anywhere else for that matter).
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