Awwwwwww, Valentine’s… It’s the most romantic time of the year – or at least that’s what Hallmark would like us to think – and along with that overblown romantic gesture you’ll be hoping to at least receive a card with a nice little message inside. Although thinking about it, if you receive any of the following you might be left wishing you’d never had anything at all….

Thanks to our friends at Hen Heaven, here are probably the worst Valentine’s cards you could ever hope to receive…

The Tesco Value Classic

Receiving this card in the post might leave you feeling a little horse (like their lasagne) but you do have to give it up to the original ‘worst Valentine’s card’ of all time. It’s such a classic I’m not sure if I’d be pleased or peeved to take this out of an envelope.

“Aww a Valentine’s Card… Wait, what?”

I’m not really sure what to say about this one… But I hear it’s a big-seller on the mass-murderer market. Great for couples with a sense of humour… not so great if you’ve only been with your partner for a week and don’t know too much about them. Guess you’ll just have to ‘bee theirs’.

The Smart Choice

Coming in at only 7 pence, this is definitely the smart choice for the smartest price… so don’t be annoyed at the one buying it for you – they’ve just got their finances in check. I couldn’t exactly include the Value card without sticking in the Smart Price card either, could I?

More than Just a Card

One problem with greetings cards… whether they’re for a birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day is the question of what can you do with them once the season has passed? For those of you with a more sentimental side, you’ll have a draw where all old cards go to count their days until you decide on having a ‘big clear out’… For others, they’ll just go straight in the bin. This Valentine’s loo-roll has a real purpose – and what’s written across it doesn’t get much more heart-warming either…

Dial 999 for Valentine’s Day

If this isn’t actually from a boyfriend with a sense of humour or one of your friends, but that guy you’ve seen every day ‘looking for something’ in the bushes and on the bus to and from work, it’s time to give the police a Valentine’s Day call for help.

One you might actually want to receive… if the Bacon was real

So you’re not a fan of Valentine’s Day but you are a fan of bacon (who isn’t?) this card might actually make your day… if he is actually planning on frying some up and not just giving you the card, that is.

Here’s to a Happy Valentine’s Day anyway – whether you receive one of the cards above or are treated to a Revolutions lunch (I know which I would rather have nom nom).

Written by Richard Paul for Hen Heaven, the team with hen do ideas that are much better than these Valentine’s cards.

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