‘When Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.’
William Shakespeare, Love’s Labours Lost
Has the bard ever announced a truth so pure? Love is something we know intimately, but cannot explain. We know the what, but nothing of the why.
Love is a perfect gift from an unknown sender. We feel no desire to question its nature, because we do not fear it. Conversely, love is the precious antidote to fear.
Which is why it’s absolutely deplorable when companies exploit its potential as a marketing tool. We would NEVER do such a thing.
After all, what kind of product could we sell that could come close to embodying the power of love?
This Rumbull cocktail maybe?
Not likely. Love soars high above the concern of taste buds.
But then again, what about this cocktail?
Of course not. Its incredible flavour pales in comparison to a taste of love.
But what about one of our food dishes? It would be unreasonable to suggest that our delicately crafted food dishes could equate to an act of love.
Just look at this Four Seasons Pizza.
It would be criminal to compare a pizza to such a divine feeling as love.
Then again, our food is lovingly crafted – so maybe there is love inherent within it after all?
Let’s look at another dish – just to be certain.
Wow. Okay – even Shakespeare couldn’t argue with that.
But no! That’s just our appetite speaking. Love is beyond compare – especially not to a burger (albeit a beautifully made burger).
Love is a feeling so sweet it sickens us towards madness. But what of our dessert menu? It’s possible that we offer something that can sweetly enamour your taste buds.
How about our Nutella Fluffwich?
Now we reckon that’s a dish capable of sealing two souls together as one.
If your date treated you to that, you’d offer up your devoted heart as an aperitif.
That’s nice – but maybe it’s just that one dessert that’s worthy of representing love. Let’s have a look –
Okay – forget sharing that with your significant other. We’d recommend just marrying the dessert instead.
It turns out we were completely wrong. It turns out we do know where love comes from – and that’s in our kitchen, and behind our bar.
Looks like we’ll have to slightly revise our previous assertion that love should never be used to market goods. What we’re saying now is simple –
IF YOU DON’T BUY OUR FOOD AND DRINK, YOU WILL CONDEMN YOURSELF TO A LONELY AND SPIRITUALLY DESTITUTE EXISTENCE DEVOID OF LOVE.
Now that you know where to find love, why not pop in to see us on Sunday? As a gesture of our utter devotion to you, we’ll mix together a free cocktail* for you.
Interested? You should be. Click here to get your voucher.
*T&Cs apply. Not available in Scotland.