1. I need to get a hobby. This week, I WILL try something new.

2. Volunteering. I’ll do good and feel good.

3. But that bag won’t pay for itself.

4. I’m fat

5. Is that a spot? I am too old for this shit.

6. I will not get this drunk again. EVER.

7. I need wine.

8. My life’s so stressful.

9. Oh good another engagement announcement on Facebook.

10. Oh great. Another baby picture. Why do all babies look like aliens?

11. I will never get married or have babies. I’m far too in to my career.

12. I want a husband and a baby! I’m going to die alone.

13. Do I like my job? Should I quit?

14. I’m going to quit and travel the word.

15. CBA.

16. I need to save money. I’ll make my own lunch. * Eats overpriced sushi *

17. I wonder if people stalk me on Facebook as much as I stalk them?

18. I have GOT to be fitter in real life.

19. My life’s so hard.

20. Cocktail.

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