Look, we’re a BIG fan of food trends.
Tapas, like, all the time?! ABSOLUTELY. Dirty burgers?! HELL YES. Japanese-style tacos? HAI.
But sometimes, despite our best efforts, a food trend comes along that we just can’t get along with. It invades every Insta’ feed, pops up as a special on most menus and even gets itself on the news.
Meanwhile, we’re just sitting here like… wtf?!
So, without further ado, here’s some terrible food trends that we can’t believe caught on. Please, 2017. Make this the year that we end these downright awful food trends – once and for all.
We’re sick of tasting the rainbow
If you have been in the vicinity of somebody using the internet in the past year, you will already know about rainbow coloured foods.
Rising to Kardashian levels of fame on Insta’, the trend has cast all the beige food we hold dear into the shadows.
First, the trend started with the bagels, and we said nothing. Then, it came for the doughnuts, and still we remained silent. But then, the trend took over the cheese toasties, and we had to say something.
It’s gross, it’s weird, it’s artificial. Let’s leave rainbow coloured food behind. Please.
Healthy versions of unhealthy foods
Shredded courgette as pasta. A cauliflower pizza base. A beetroot burger bun.
This is not what nature intended. Ever seen Jurassic Park? They tried to play with nature and how did that turn out? Oh yeah, all the unfortunate minor characters get eaten alive by a ravenous T-Rex.
Okay, it’s a bit of a jump, from foods to fossils. We get that. But the point is, PLEASE leave our pizza bases alone or risk a fate worse than that of an unfortunate minor character.
Fancy waters don’t float our boat
Oh, this water has been infused with electrolytes? Cool. Tapped from the peak of a holy mountain? Great. Been blessed by the virgins of an aboriginal tribe?
No. Nope. Nada. We just don’t care at this point.
Expensive waters have been gaining traction for a while now, as people drift into their overdrafts to afford boxed or diamond water. How the hell can water be SMART?
We’ll stick to tap, thanks.
Okay, hands up. Who started this? Come on, somebody must know something. We want names, addresses, medical records, anything.
So, let’s be real, we don’t mind having to wrap our own fajitas. Sometimes we even prefer it. But deconstructed spaghetti bolognese?! DIY burgers? A deconstructed cheesecake??
Like, isn’t the point to have all the flavours combined?! And unless you’re Nigella, you’re probably not constructing anything correctly. Best leave it to the pros.
Sigh. Is this still a thing? It’s bland, it’s boring, and it’s not as bloody good for you as everyone goes on about.
At this point, we wouldn’t mind an avocado shortage until this food trend is…. toast.
We’ll be the first to admit, they look amazing. And then you get into it… Well, you try.
Maybe if I… nope, not that way. Oh, I could try putting the straw… that’s going to be messy. What if I just move this over… and now it’s overflowed and it’s everywhere.
When you do manage to consume your freakshake, prepare for a food coma x1000. And a tummy ache. We warned you.
Now, we’re sure you’re with us on this one, but these food trends need to be stopped. Fancy some food that doesn’t make you cringe? Course you do. We reckon it’s time you checked out our food menu. It’s on point and not a thing is rainbow coloured. Win.