If nothing makes you sicker than a slick of jam on a scone before the cream, then hello there, you must be from Devon.
You’ve grown up feeding Polos to the ponies on Dartmoor (from the safety of the car window, obvs) and you’re at risk of hypothermia at any temperature below 13°, but what else makes you a bonafide Devonian?
If you don’t tick all the boxes below, well, you might as well be from *gasp* Cornwall.
1. You swell with pride whenever you hear Muse
Even if you only know one of their songs, you just can’t help telling anybody in the vicinity that they’re from Teignmouth and YES, you do know where Matt Bellamy’s mum’s house is and you may have seen her leaving Tesco car park once.
2. Ambrosia custard is bae
You know that the best custard isn’t created with Madagascan vanilla pods, but made with love in Devon.
Nothing beats the sweet, yellow gloopiness of Ambrosia custard. Except, of course, the delicious nostalgia experienced by anyone who ate dinner at their nan’s house every single Sunday ‘til they were ten.
3. You sigh when people incorrectly pronounce the town names
Totnes, Ilfracombe, Paignton and Teignmouth. It’s really not that hard, guys.
Wait a second. Did you just pronounce that last one ‘Tayne-mow-th’? You, my not local friend, are sadly mistaken.
You really try to let it slide, but then you hear somebody not pronounce the exclamation mark in Westward Ho! and you just completely lose your sh*t.
4. You’re totally in touch with nature
From nightly stargazing on Dartmoor to rock-pooling on the coast, countryside living seriously agrees with you.
And the best bit of country life? Hearing rustling in a bush and innocently thinking “Oh, a deer!” and not “Ew, is that somebody shagging?” like most of the UK’s unfortunate city-dwellers.
5. You were terrified yet intrigued by the Beast of Dartmoor
Growing up, you lived in fear for your poor pet rabbit in the garden, but also secretly hoped that Flufflestiltskin would help lure the Beast of Dartmoor out of hiding.
Every car journey was spent (and probs still is) scanning the horizon in search of the fabled monster.
But the Beast of Bodmin? Pffft, nothing more than an oversized housecat.
6. Homity Pie is a staple of your diet
Mmmm, much cheese. Many potato. So carbohydrate.
7. You pretend you’re in a sad scene from a film whenever you do the train journey between Exeter and Newton Abbot
It’s raining, you’re playing ‘Piano Playlist 14’ and you use the time on the train to question the futility of human existence and of course, do some extra searching for that elusive Beast.
Being from Devon, you know there’s SO much more to this wonderful county than hippies and cider. And NOW, it’s getting even better.
Revolution is coming soon and we’re gonna help you say goodbye to boring parties, bad cocktails and bland food. Get ready for something extraordinary, and get involved with the Torquay launch party ASAP.
The best bit? We’re giving you the chance to win a grand ol’ party WORTH £1,000 in Torquay! Sign up here and you could be a winner.