Look, even we can admit, house parties are bloody great.
You’re with your mates, your bank balance isn’t going to get any lower and crucially, it’s somebody else’s house that’s going to look like New Year’s Eve in a Russian prison by morning.
Like, you’d have to be really crazy to throw your own – oh dear God, you’re doing it aren’t you?
Fine. We can work with this. But to avoid ending up with that particular Russian vibe, you’re going to have to make your house party super premium. Luckily for you, we know exactly how to do it…
Book an Airbnb
Look, we’re not saying you couldn’t throw a party at your place and we’re definitely not knocking the idea of using your parents’ pristine 3-bed semi.
But it’s lacking a few things… Like a pool, a balcony and a jacuzzi on the roof. What it does have is your childhood bedroom that’s been converted into a home gym, though. So there’s that.
Instead, book Airbnbs and feel safe in the knowledge that nobody is going to defile Bitsy, the knackered old teddy bear you’ve had since birth.
Hand-deliver the invites at least
This isn’t a seven-year-old’s birthday party, okay? So cut ‘n’ paste stock imagery that you’ve cobbled together with your limited knowledge of Photoshop IS JUST NOT going to cut it.
For a super premium party, you need the invites to be gold, embossed and preferably hand-delivered by somebody relatively (minimum B-list) famous.
Can’t get James Corden? Maybe book one of Atomic Kitten instead. Just not Katona.
Let’s talk about the guest list
This one might be a bit controversial, but for a super premium party, you’re gonna need some super premium guests.
Sure, invite all your friends and even friends of their friends.
But do you really want the boy – and it’s always a boy – who’s going to spend the entire night pawing at an acoustic guitar like a mariachi man from Wigan? Surely you can also leave out the group of four Liam Gallagher haircuts who are just going to post pouty tweets all night?
And absolutely NO football shirts/bus wankers/friends of younger siblings allowed.
Look, we’re just saying, review the guest list a bit before sending it out.
You’re not a DJ
Right, let’s get this straight out there. Don’t even think about playing your own Spotify playlist.
Just don’t do it. You’ve listened to the same three bands since you left school and two of those feature Alex bloody Turner.
Avoid having your guests b*tch about you in the back-garden-come-smoking area by splashing the cash. Book a proper DJ who has at least 10,000 followers on SoundCloud. Anything under 9,500? Don’t. Even. Bother.
Make it a super premium spirit
Putting BYOB on every Facebook event may have been fine when you were a fresher, but unfortunately that road closes as soon as you start paying National Insurance.
Now, you could get a 24-crate of Strongbow, leaving your guests to have a quarter each before passing to their right… But that doesn’t sound very super premium to us.
Instead, get everyone’s favourite super premium party spirit, Ketel One vodka. With a crisp, lively flavour, the silky Dutch spirit is simply perfect. Try with your fav mixer and loads of rocks OR as part of a fabulous cocktail.
Or, psssst. Here’s an even better idea. Make your house party a pre-drinks and book a table here instead.
We’ve teamed up with those Dutch vodka experts to create a new menu brimming full of dazzling Ketel One cocktails. Well, what are you waiting for? Bring your guests and we’ll bring the party!