Yes, we can predict the future.
Come on. Of course we can.
We know that this is the year Oasis finally reunite and sell-out a month of shows before going back to calling each other potatoes by December. We know that this is the year the robots finally rise up and enslave the human race (probably not? Maybe? Who knows?). And we even know that this is the year ending sentences abruptly will become
Look, we basically know it all.
And to test just how much we know, we’re asking you to pick a burger and we’ll give the expectations and reality of your future. So sit back, look into our crystal ball, and prepare to learn a lil’ about yourself.
SMOKIN’ BACON BURGER
What does this burger say about you? Well, it’s a burger with Wotsits on it, so first off it probably says that you love cheesy crisps. But when we dig deeper, ordering this burger makes it pretty clear that you’re not afraid to try new things, even if that includes a burger that’s loaded with, yes, we’ll say it again, Wotsits.
What might happen in your future: Travel. Travel. Travel. You’ll discover all seven continents and spend the rest of your days saying “this one time in [exotic country]” to friends who have heard it all before and kind of hate you now.
What will happen in your future: Really, you’ll probably just get a slightly different haircut than you normally do. Maybe. If you’re feeling brave.
BEAN DREAMIN’ BURGER
What does this burger say about you? It’s obvious, no? You’re a straight-up dreamer. You’re aiming for the top.
What might happen in your future: You found the company that’s going to send the first person to Mars, and as if that wasn’t enough, you’re also going to be the first person on Mars. And then you become so unbelievably rich that you hire Richard Branson as your butler, and you purposefully treat him terribly.
What will happen in your future: You become Richard Branson’s butler. And yes, obviously, he treats you terribly.
BBQ RIB BURGER
What does this burger say about you? It’s safe to say, you’ve got a wild side just waiting to come out, and it does, in various burger choices like this.
Future expectations: Despite your parents wanting you to follow in their shoes and become something a lawyer like them, you go rogue and finally buy that ice-cream van to follow your 7-year-old dream of being The Best Ice Cream Man The World Has Ever Seen.
Future reality: You’ll become a lawyer but eat lots of ice cream on the weekends.
BROOKLYN CHICKEN BURGER
What does this burger say about you? There’s no doubt about it, you’re just a lil’ bit different. You don’t like conforming to society’s expectations. And we respect that. You big weirdo.
What might happen in your future: You know those people you see in documentaries on Channel Five? They marry their car or a similar inanimate object? They spend an hour trying to convince this reporter that, yes, they do love their Vauxhall Astra like a person? There’s a shot of them lovingly caressing a wing mirror? Yes? You know the one? Well, that’s what we see in your future. Sorry.
What will happen in your future: See above. The expectations match up with the reality this time. Sorry again.
What does this burger say about you? Let’s be honest, you don’t kid around. You have a serious appetite and you don’t care who knows it.
What might happen in your future: Now, we don’t want to jinx it, but we see a lottery win in your future. Yep, one of the big ones too. Something ridiculous like £36million. A truly insane amount of money that you’ll never spend, but do your damn best to try. Enjoy the high life.
What will happen in your future: We still see a lottery win! More like £2 million this time! But still! A lottery winner! Now! You’ll probably blow it all in 6 months with your expensive tastes! But that six months! Will be amazing!
Now, if you’re gonna choose any burger on this list, it kind of has to be The Motherclucker, right?
Chock-full with corn-battered chicken, smoked cheddar, streaky bacon, sweet potato fries, crispy BBQ onions and loads more… This beast is BACK for a VERY limited time only, so you need to get your mouth around it ASAP.
Be quick – and book a table to get your feast on, and when you order The Motherclucker, we’ll give you a FREE selected cocktail too! Which, we’re sure you’ll agree, is exactly the same as winning the lottery.
Exactly. The. Same.