Go vegan? Cut out sugar? Come on now, let’s be serious. You need some proper New Year’s food resolutions in your life – and luckily, we’re here to help. MORE BURGERS. There’s one, right there.
You can imagine where this is going. Expect some mouth-wateringly good food porn, plus some rules that’ll see you ready to take on 2017, one deliciously-bad-for-you bite at a time…
1. Brownies are gonna be BIG, so get involved
It seems almost devilishly unorthodox to kick off with a dessert but our gooey, chocolatey, fudge-loaded friends are going to be big news in 2017. Online media outlets are blaming the soaring popularity of the brownie on the recent legislation changes in Colorado, but whatever man. When somebody says brownies for breakfast, we’re in.
2. Rainbow food is out, out, out
And thank God for that. Yeah, a rainbow muffin makes a great ‘gram pic an’ all, but they taste pretty crappy. Nope, 2017 is all about regular, boring-coloured food that’s big on TASTE instead. Woop!
3. But ‘coloured’ diets are a thing, so DO still taste the rainbow
Now, nutritionists (pfft) will tell you that for optimal health, you must eat ALL the colours. Peppers. Peas. Pomegranate – and maybe some other foods that don’t begin with P. Whilst we agree with this, we say there’s no shame in adding a sprinkle of Skittles to your dish, just to ensure all bases are covered.
4. Make ALL your meals multicultural
Food, quite simply, is a helluva lot better when you mix it up a bit. So in 2017, GO GLOBAL. We’re talking culinary collabs from all over the world. Need inspo? Our Asian Satay Chicken Pizza (that’s Indonesia and Italy) or our Nach’Yo Cheese (hello, America and Mexico) have both totally got you covered.
5. Wrap it up
Bread is boring AF. There. We said it. It’s universally accepted that every single sandwich filling is enhanced tenfold when rolled in a tortilla wrap. Our delicious Chicken Freestyle Wrap is the perfect proof – taste it, then tell us otherwise. We dare you.
6. Get a pizza the late-night action
You should be unashamedly devouring pizza late at night WAY more in 2017. ‘Nuff said.
7. Sack off packed lunches FOREVER
Your lunch-hour is a small saving grace of the daily grind, and as such should be treated with respect. Stale ham sandwiches – or worse – a soggy salad simply won’t suffice, but we’ve got your back with our 15-minute lunch promise. You can order some of the tastiest items on our menu, and we’ll cook ‘em up in less than a quarter of an hour. If we take any longer, you can have it for free. Yes, thank us later, for 2017’s lunchtimes are officially SAVED!
8. Go wild with a nutty butty
We’ve got two words: Nutella. Sandwiches. Warm chocolate spread has got to be the most underrated sandwich filling EVER. For best results, pimp it out with fruit/real nuts/marshmallows/whipped cream… The choice is yours. We’ve actually got one on our dessert menu and it’s deliciously indulgent, if we do say so ourselves.
9. Remember this one rule: cheese goes with EVERYTHING
Some people like salt. Some like pepper. We prefer cheese. Seriously, is there actually a food that isn’t improved by adding cheese? A sprinkle of yellow heaven goes with everything, making anything – even life – taste just that little bit better. It really is your creamy, crumbly, spreadable best friend.
10. Give up cooking… For good!
That’s right. If 2016 was the year of home cooking, 2017 shall be the year that we NEVER cook again. It’s tricky, time-consuming and costly, particularly when you fork out for all the right ingredients (who even notices pine nuts and pancetta?). And when you don’t? It’s fish fingers, chips and beans for you. Bleugh.
Nobody needs that on the reg. Nah, you’re much better off eating out – check out our glorious food menu and see what’ll tempt you. You can even do so if you’re skint, as we’re offering 50% off all food in January when you book in advance.
Don’t bother with fancy foodie resolutions in 2017. Stuff your face and love it instead. Happy New Year everyone!