Oh, so you thought tennis was all about posh people in expensive shorts?
Well, you are kind of right about that. But there’s so much more to it than you could have realised.
Luckily, we’re here to break down to you why tennis is actually the coolest damn sport on the planet. And of course, we’ll do so without the slightest hint of irony.
Everyone knows that the coolest party in town is the one that’s most difficult to get into.
So why doesn’t the same apply to sporting events? Go to a match of football, and you’ll see people from all walks of life, enjoying the match together and wallowing in their…eurgh…diversity.
Wimbledon on the other hand – damn, you best be certain that you’re either a somebody, or a nobody with money. If you’re neither, Wimbledon ain’t the place for you.
Go it solo
Here’s the thing with team sports.
They’re for wimps. For ‘athletes’ who don’t have the spine to take on a competitor without the help of their mates. Team players can’t handle the full responsibility. As far as we’re concerned, team players ain’t playaaas.
Tennis players on the other hand? They take their defeats on the chin, and have no one else to blame. And better yet, their victory is all theirs, like darts players and golfers. Now they’re the real athletes.
It’s got style
American football players look like crabs wrapped in silk, whilst footballers come in kits of all different weird designs and colours. It’s all so tacky and lame.
Tennis players on the other hand, come adorned in garments of white purer than the snow resting on the crest of the highest Swiss mountain. It’s an angelic look, and easily the coolest way to go.
Strawberries and Cream
Only tennis would have a dessert as its signature dish. Especially one that’s as elegant and decadent as strawberries and cream.
And the best part is, they taste even better when you’re overcharged for them, which will happen if you visit Wimbledon. Mmmmm!
Pimms & Lemonade
Take one look at our cocktail range and you’ll know that simple cocktails aren’t really our thing.
But only tennis would haven a signature drink this classy, and we’ll take this over a warm pint of stale bitter any day of the week.
It’s ridiculously intense
Each match can last hours, and each one is a trial of endurance that pushes the competitors to their absolute limits.
Remember this Isner-Mahut one-on-one from Wimbledon 2010 that lasted over 11 hours!?
That makes 90-minutes seem like a breezy jog walk in the park.
We just got everything you ever thought about tennis and chopped it up like a ripe strawberry.
Drop the football, ditch your teammates and get on the court. You know it’s way cooler.
We’re definitely not just a bit bitter because England got destroyed in the Euro 2016. Definitely not bitter at all.