When you think about it, Christmas songs are pretty much the worst songs ever written.
We should hate them for it. The terrible lyrics. The ever-present sound of bells. The vomit-inducingly twee music videos.
So why, WHY do we insist on listening to them year in, year out? Will we ever stop?! Are we all completely insane?!!
Oh well. We can’t deny their power to get a wild Christmas party started, even if everyone is dancing ironically.
Here are ten that are guaranteed to get you all rockin’ around the Christmas tree.
1. Mariah Carey – ‘All I want for Christmas is you’
It opens with the famous croon that no-one can resist singing along too. Then, the piano kicks in and gives way to an absolute Christmas belter that’s just made for dancing.
2. Wham! – ‘Last Christmas’
Because obviously. How were we supposed to write this list without including this strangely-depressing-but-somehow-also-uplifting Christmas classic?
3. Ludacris – Ludacrismas
Okay, we’ll be honest. We don’t even know if this track is good or not, but with festive punnage as magnificent as ‘Ludacrismas’ there was no way we weren’t going to include it on this list.
4. Band Aid – ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’
It’s lame, cheesy and contains some of the most naively offensive lyrics of any Christmas song*, but there’s no denying the power of this tune to get everyone in the room united in a massive singalong when the chorus kicks in.
*No, the Ethiopians definitely don’t know it’s Christmas time – they’re probably a bit more concerned with, y’know, not dying of hunger and stuff.
5. Destiny’s Child – 8 Days of Christmas
Ever wondered what it’d be like to party with Queen B on Christmas?
Bring that dream to life with this merry RnB classic that’s guaranteed to get the dancefloor feeling more than a little festive.
6. The Darkness – Christmas Time (Don’t let the bells end)
You’ve got to hand it to The Darkness. Not only did they actually manage to write a new Christmas song that’s earned the highly coveted honour of yearly circulation, they did it all with their strange blend of ultra high pitched vocals and spandex-inspired rock’n’roll.
7. The Pogues – ‘Fairytale of New York’
Christmas parties are the only parties at which is considered okay to get a little bit soppy and sentimental. If it reaches that point in the night, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with spinning this tune and slow-dancing thoughtfully in the embrace of an old companion.
8. Slade – ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’
Come on, would it really be a proper Christmas party if this horribly catchy song didn’t make an appearance on the playlist?
Of course it wouldn’t. And you know it. So you can’t blame us, okay!?
9. Wizzard – ‘I wish it could be Christmas everyday’
Same goes with this one.
Sorry not sorry.
10. Cheeky Girls – ‘Cheeky Christmas’
This song is awful and it needs to stay in the murky depths of internet obscurity where it belongs. Unless you actively wish to ruin everyone’s Christmas, don’t let it near a dancefloor.
Sorry for even bringing up this ‘cheeky’ travesty.
If awesome tunes are what you’re looking for at your Christmas party, then look no further than our dance floor.
We’ve got something to suit everyone’s idea of a perfect festive occasion, so take a look at our Christmas party venues and we’ll sort something out for you.
And don’t worry – the Cheeky Girls will most definitely not be making an appearance.