Vodka is a pure, clean and ultra-smooth spirit. So much so, it serves as a perfect canvas for mixing with other awesome flavours.
We clocked onto that a long time ago, and now, we’ve worked up a roster of 30 different vodka flavours, and we’re constantly mixing up the line-up as and when we feel.
For example – last year, we brought out an insanely tasty Chocolate Egg vodka flavour for a special Easter treat, and despite it being insanely popular, we decided to take it away from you. After all – we invented it, we can kind of do what we like with it.
Since we’re nice, and we know that you loved it so much, we’ve decided to bring it out again for your Easter enjoyment.
Not only that, but we’re going to do something we thought we’d never do. We’re going to REVEAL THE SECRET TO THIS VODKA FLAVOUR.
Okay so here it goes – here’s how we make our Chocolate Egg vodka flavour. Enjoy.
The story begins in a factory in Dukinfield, just outside of Ashton, Greater Manchester.
It’s not much to look at from the outside, but as your deluded primary school teacher has probably already told you, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, right?
Step into the factory, and you’ll walk into a bare room, with absolutely nothing in it – not a drop of vodka or flavour in sight.
However, this is where the magic starts.
At this point, you’ve got to walk into the centre of the room. Then, close your eyes and think of the first time you visited a Revolution – that wonderful, glorious, most heart-warming of memories. Remember it? Good.
Whilst you’re thinking deeply, utter the words – VODKA VODKA, PURE AND CLEAN, SHOW ME THE FLAVOUR OF MY DREAMS.
Open you’re eyes, and you’ll be surrounded by the hustle and bustle of a wacky and wonderful factory full of flavours, and of course, LOADS of vodka.
Our employees, the Drunka Lumpas, will be hard at work concocting the next wonderful vodka flavour. (We basically import them from the same tropical island Willy Wonka gets his workforce, but rather than pay them in useless cocoa beans we ply them with free Grey Goose vodka. It’s a fair deal really).
Now, in this factory of dreams, we’re always working on at least 8347 different flavours, to see which one works best. But we’re only going to show you how we make one in this post.
Firstly, we get an egg, and we incubate it in a bath of warm chocolate.
Then, once the egg has hatched, we raise the chick to maturity on a diet of Mars bars and icing sugar (we use Mars bars as it provides a more nutritionally balanced diet for the chicken, thanks to the nougat content).
Once the chick has reached maturity, it will begin to lay eggs. If the Drunka Lumpas have done their job well, then 1 in 4 of the hen’s eggs will be made entirely from chocolate.
We then place that egg in a carefully sealed bottle of pure vodka, before strapping the bottle onto the back of a rabbit.
To finish up, we strap a carrot to another, faster rabbit and they chase each other frantically until the vodka has become finely blended together, in the way only the desperate hop of a hungry Easter bunny can achieve.
There you have it. Simple. Try it yourself, it’s a lot easier than you think.
If this has got you in the mood to give it a try, then we’d recommend coming on down to out Big Easter weekend, where we’ll be giving away loads of free samples of the wonderful stuff for your tasting pleasure.
Click here to book a table in advance, and get ready for an eggstremely, eggtactularly eggsome time.