A real-life Darth Vader? A haggis-inspired security meltdown? A bloody massive owl?
Yep, that settles it. Apologies to all Invernessians reading this, but there’s no doubt about it… Inverness is completely and utterly batsh*t crazy.
Still don’t believe us? Well, sit back, take a deep breath, and let us round up the absolutely INSANE things that genuinely happened in lovely lil’ Inverness.
(Pssst. If you’re looking for Inverness Launch Party tickets, click here to sign up and stay in the know.)
1. When Darth Vader went for a walk in Kinmylies.
Despite being from a galaxy far far away, dying at the hands of Emperor Palpatine at the end of the original trilogy, and of course – say it quietly now – being a fictional character, a bunch of Kinmylies residents actually called the police to report a sighting of everyone’s favourite Sith Lord, Darth Vader.
“Officers spoke to a man who they agreed could have looked like Darth Vader from a distance as he was wearing a long dark coat. It was established he was just out for an evening walk.”
Guys, we don’t know how to say this… But he’s not bloody real.
2. That time Dobbies Garden Centre thought flower urinals were a good idea.
Look, we get the thematic choices here.
But to paraphrase Jeff Goldblum’s character from Jurassic Park… Dobbies were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.
3. When this happened…
The tartan kilt. The lil’ happy haggis smile. The “worried railway staff” who we bet are real fun at parties.
Honestly, we don’t even know where to start with this one.
4. When these men were too sexy for their kilts.
Yep, these kilt-wearing barmen were forced to ditch their traditional Scottish attire when the deeply thirsty women of Inverness couldn’t stop groping them.
Which probably explains the furious/fed up folded arms pose they are all doing.
5. When this guy used his Vauxhall Astra to advertise his divorce.
Now, if you ask us, nothing says ‘I’ve come to terms with my marriage ending and I’m ready to move on’ more than a sign on the back of your car saying ‘I’m divorced and delighted.”
6. That time a farmer decided to create this weird scarecrow thing out of hay bales.
Look, we all know this is the work of someone with too much time on their hands with a lil’ bit of insanity thrown into the mix…
However, take a closer look at those wheels, and try telling us they don’t look like sushi.
7. When a bloody massive owl terrorised the high street.
That’s right, an eagle owl with a six-foot wingspan started attacking innocent shoppers in the centre of Inverness.
Which, if we’re honest, sounds like the complete opposite of a hoot… Sorry.
8. When somebody on the highstreet disposed of a mannequin like this.
Well, we hope it was a mannequin.
9. When this baaaaaarmy sign was put up.
If you want to let your sheep off a lead in Inverness, you’re gonna have to go to one of those sheep parks.
10. This pet shop where you can buy food for your gorilla…
Finally, thanks to Pampered Pets of Inverness, we can get the bar pet we’ve always wanted.
Well, it’s pretty clear to see you guys have got a seriously good sense of humour, which is why we’ll be serving up all sorts of good times from our new home in Inverness.
From dazzling handcrafted cocktails, dishes with massive tastes and some of the most extraordinary parties you’ve ever seen, we’ll be serving up fun, fun, fun the second we arrive.
Can’t wait for us to get there? Well, sign up to our Inverness newsletter to stay in the know, and when you do, you’ll be in the chance of winning a grand ol’ party worth £1,000 for you and your mates!
So get ready Inverness, ’cause a Revolution is coming.