Errr, did we miss something, โ€˜cause we were convinced the hipster was dead?

Like, we swear that he choked to death on quinoa-flavoured popcorn while riding a unicycle round Shoreditch and trying to say something about this new band called Fleetwood PC who everyone just needs to check out.

Yeah, we definitely heard that.

But it seems the hipster – like Jesus, Jon Snow, and Kenny from South Park – just canโ€™t stay dead, judging by these truly ridiculous hipster burgers that need to go and have a long hard think about what theyโ€™ve done.

WARNING: If you have a propensity to hipster, DO NOT read this blog.

A sushi burger

Pretty, right? And you love sushi, yeah? Looks like a piece of Japanese heaven, huh?

Well, close your eyes and just imagine trying to eat it.

With your hands.

Go on, we’ll wait.

Pizza Burger

Weย should be all for this. Weย shouldย be getting a lil’ hot under the collar at the mere sight of it. Weย shouldย be writing an acoustic ballad about cheesy-meaty-love to try and seduce this creation.

But we’re not.

‘Cause let’s be real, no matter how good this burger may be, you just know that both pizza AND burgers are SO much better when served solo.

Ramen Burger

The original #ramenburger did not disappoint!

A post shared by chloe : she's so fresh (@shessofresh) on

Look, we all do stupid things from time to time.

Like, what about that time you tried to use a birthday card from your grandparents as I.D. to get into a club? You haven’t spoken about it since. It’s a secret between you and those laughing bouncers that you’ll carry to the grave.

We only wish the Ramen Burger could’ve forever remained a secret too.

Scotch Egg Burger

You know what, that actually looks pretty good.

We’d say bravo hipsters, but it’s a shame the human jaw can’t actually unhinge itself to fit this in our mouth.

The snake community will love it though.

Cheese Bomb Burger

If you looked at this burger and thought any of the following:

‘I think I’d actually like that.’
‘These hipster burgers aren’t that bad.’
‘I probably wouldn’t need 400 napkins to eat this.’

We want you to slowly close your internet browser, collect your belongings, and turn yourself into the nearest police station for encouraging the crime that is the Cheese Bomb Burger.

The most expensive burger in the world

A 24-carat gold leaf bun, a handful of lobster, and Japanese dry-aged wagyu steak coupled with LOADS more pretentious ingredients… All for the blinding sum of ยฃ1,785.

Do you know what you could buy for that kind of money?

1,124 McDonald’s burgers. Or 224 of our delicious cocktails. Or 4 large boxes of cinema popcorn.

Mac ‘N’ Cheese Burger

We’ve all heard that too much cheese before bed gives you nightmares, right?

Well, we can conclusively say that THIS burger is the nightmare.

Burger Bomb

If you’re the type of sociopath who gets their kicks from ingrown hairs being pulled, ears being cleaned, and massive spots being popped…

You and this meaty pimple burger deserve each other.

The King Burger

Apparently, this burger gets its name from the fact that Elvis Presley loved fried bananas and a slathering of peanut butter on his burgers.

Okay.

Each to his own.

Whatever we do here, we’re not going to be reduced to making a snide joke about dying on the toilet.

We. Won’t. Do. It.

Black Burger

Juicy and powerful black burgers! #powerful #blackburgers

A post shared by BlackAngus (@blackangusburger) on

Cold, a lil’ bit depressing, and probably listening to Slipknot.

If we’re honest, this burger looks like we FEEL right now, after researching all these burgers.

 

Want to pretend like you’ve never seen any of these ridiculous hipster burgers?

Well, we’ve got a burger that will repress ALL your bad burger memories… Our Mother Clucker!

Chock-full with corn-battered chicken, smoked cheddar, streaky bacon, sweet potato fries and loads more, this is the ONLY choice for National Burger Day…

Book a table right here to get your feast on, then reserve some time for a nice long lie down. You’ll need it.

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