Look, we’ve all been there.
After a night out chatting to randomers about why you guys don’t do this more often, you wake up hungover, anxious, and completely haunted by the thought of checking your bank balance.
You know it’s bad. You know that buying a round of cocktails was a ridiculous decision. But does it have to always be this way?
Well, not exactly, ‘cause we’ve only gone and put together THE definitive guide to lowering the costs of everyone’s favourite habit: the night out.
1. Pre-drink… HARD
Let’s face it, only a complete rookie misses out on a good ol’ pre-drinks sesh.
Get down to Aldi, pick up a vodka whose name you can’t pronounce, and get so wavy that buying drinks in the club is second priority to throwing some serious shapes.
2. The hip flask is a MUST
A hip-flask from Amazon: £3. Filling it with the cheapest vodka and mixer you can find: £9.
Not having to buy a drink all night ‘cause you’re suitably trollied from your heaven-sent personal booze haven hip-flask: Priceless.
3. ‘You pay for this taxi and I’ll get you a drink when we’re in there’
Okay, repeat those words. Again. Again.
Now, remember, you will never buy your friend that drink. And they’ll be so drunk from pre-drinks they’ll never notice. Job. Done.
4. Skip the entrance fee
Whatever happens, you don’t pay the entry fee. They should pay you for gracing their club. If you talk like a VIP you are a VIP, right?
Or, you know, sneak in through the back fire exit. Or, if you’re not some sort of Russell Brand film, find somewhere with free entry.
5. ‘Forget’ to bring cash
This will need some practice, but at the bar you need to dramatically open your dusty wallet with a ‘Oh no! I forgot to go to the cash machine!’
Then slowly turn to one of your friends and ask for them to cover you. Hopefully they’ll still be too drunk the next day to remember that tenner you owe them.
6. Stay close to a baller
Usually seen holding, but not drinking, a comically large bottle of Grey Goose. To save some serious cash you NEED to lurk around a baller all night long.
Compliment their outfit. Laugh at all their jokes. Hold their hair back when they’re being sick. Do all this, and they just might get you a jägerbomb as a reward.
7. Barter all your worldly possessions for a drink
Take the bedside lamp you got in Cambodia and all the other useless junk you own. Then, get bartering for, if you’re lucky, a sip of a Mojito.
Will people think you’re an idiot? Absolutely. Will you get enough drinks to get drunk? Actually, probably not.
8. Flirt with a bartender
To be used as a bit of a last resort, give the bartender your best chat to turn that single mixer into a double at no extra cost.
The chances of it working are about as slim as your bank balance, but you never know!
9. Only go to bars that do Happy Hour
We’re just going to leave this here, and let you know that you can check your local bar page for all the Happy Hour offers at your nearest Revolution.
10. Pair-up for rounds with a heavy drinker
They get you a pint. You get them a £1 shot.
They get you a mixer. You get them a £1 shot.
They get you a £1 shot. You get them a water.
11. Forget an Uber, jog home instead
Save the £15 you’ll spend on a taxi home and use the glorious energy drink still flowing through your veins to have a nice sprint home.
After all, it’s been scientifically proven that everyone runs faster when drunk!*
*Nah, that ain’t true.
12. Avoid the evil Maccies!
Look, we’ve all spent £27 buying all of the limited edition bits at Maccies (oh, just us?), but you need to show some resolve here.
If you do get dragged there by your rich friends, get yourself a McFlurry and spend the next hour stealing fries, burger droppings, and unwanted gherkins. Yum.
13. Literally never leave the house
Who says pre-drinks ever has to end?
‘Forget’ to book the taxi and let pre-drinks slowly make its natural transformation into a house party. Easy peasy.
14. Budget, budget, budget!
Want to avoid the shock of your life when you discover you spent the equivalent of a flight to Berlin on one round?
Well, take cash on your night out and whatever you do, leave your bank card at home…
15. And bring the only card that matters, our Revolution Card!
That’s right, with a whole WORLD of fantastic food and drinks offers, you can get 2-4-1 cocktails, 25% off food, AND discounts on all your favourite drinks brands!
It’s by FAR the greatest way to save a bit of dolla while having the best night out EVER, AND IT’S ONLY £4! But the best bit? We EVEN throw in a funky pair of free pants too!
Well, what are you waiting for? Become an honorary member of thegoodstuff club, and get your Revolution Card today.