The dreaded Christmas hangover. We’ve all been there.
When it’s gone 2am at your third Christmas party of the week and you’re throwing shapes on the dancefloor, slut-drops aplenty, belting out the lyrics to The Pussycat Dolls Don’t Cha, that extra shot of tequila always seems like a good idea. One more can’t hurt, can it? Why do we never learn…
But what if a good party didn’t always have to end in a hideous hangover?
Well, you’re in luck cos we’ve rounded up five common kinds of Christmas hangover – and (more importantly) how to avoid them. Thank us later.
The OH, SH*T a.k.a ‘The Fear’
You wake up. After a few seconds (ignorance really is bliss on these mornings), your brain kicks into gear and yells ‘Ha, ha, ha, I know what you did last night’. And then you remember.
You freeze – here comes the Fear – and all you can think is ‘Oh, SH*T’ as shame washes over you.
What did you do? What did you say? Do you have any money/friends/dignity left?
On second thoughts, don’t answer that.
The GIVE ME WATER NOW
Dehydration really is the Devil. If you’ve got a mega-hangover, you’ll need water – fast.
When you get home from your Christmas party, make sure you drink a hefty amount of H20. Then, drink some more. When you hit the hay, leave a big glass on your bedside table.
If you were a better human, you could throw in a few soft drinks during your night out to keep your body hydrated – and you could even avoid this type of Christmas hangover altogether. But come on, who are you kidding?
The LOL Christmas Hangover
Hangovers aren’t all doom and gloom – sometimes they bring on moments of total hilarity.
Getting over this one is easy. Ping a jokes message to your WhatsApp group, arrange a post-party catch-up for extra laughs, or just privately chuckle to yourself as you pour your pick-me-up coffee.
And if all else fails and you’re still dying of cringe, just remember – there’s always someone out there that’s worse.
The OW, MY LEGS
Commonly known as the dance-over.
That achiness in your legs and the throbbing in your feet that can only be caused by one thing, and one thing only. BUSTIN’ SHAPES.
If you’ve got this kind of Christmas hangover, then congratulations – you’ve got the moves like Jagger, and you’re clearly not afraid to show it.
As for the cure? There ain’t one, because you don’t bloody need it you big superstar.
The OH WHAT A NIGHT
You may feel a little jaded, tired, headachey and so darn hungry… But OH WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS.
If you qualify for this type of hangover then you, my friend, are winning at life.
And clearly, you’ve just been to a Christmas party at Revolution. So don’t avoid this type of hangover, and book your epic Christmas party celebrations right… about… NOW.
But wait, you came here looking for a cure? Well, here’s 5 failsafe remedies you can’t go wrong with!
1. Fill up on a Full English
We couldn’t start a Christmas hangover countdown without mentioning the classic full English fry up.
Maybe it’s the special chemistry of the eggs, sausages, beans, and bacon. We don’t know the science behind it. Maybe it’s not even science, maybe it’s magic.
All we know is that it bloody well WORKS.
2. The Basic Bacon Butty
Bacon isn’t just a hangover cure, it’s better than any bae too.
While true love happens once in a lifetime, bacon can happen eleven times a day if you want it to. The only decision that you’ll have to make is choosing between red or brown sauce.
3. Hair of the dog
If you’re still determined to relive the best bits from last night’s amazing Christmas party, feel free to wake yourself up with the ‘hair of the dog’.
According to some recent science wizardy, consuming a small amount of alcohol the morning after the night before may actually steady your hangover by sending pleasure signals to the brain.
However, we’re all for responsible drinking, and the inevitable Christmas hangover is going to catch you out one way or another.
4. Slowly sweat it out
Even if you’re feeling up to the task, going Gung-ho down at the gym is not going to ease your stinking Christmas hangover any quicker.
If anything, you’ll probably become even more dehydrated.
Instead, gentle exercise in the form of a slow jog is likely to get your liver into gear and breakdown those nasty toxins. Make sure you keep a bottle of ice cold water close by because you’re going to be needing it.
5. Sprite? Yeah, that’s right
Chinese researchers, whom we presume have nothing better to be getting on with, recently concluded that this mediocre fizzy drink could, in fact, be the Holy Grail of hangover cures. Try it out for yourself and let us know how you get on…
Let’s be real, we all know that sticking to your limits is always the best Christmas hangover cure, but when a festive party is in full swing, it’s extremely easy to get a little carried away. Don’t worry, we’ll let you off.
And that’s how you can party like a pro all festive season and avoid a stinking Christmas hangover. Dreams really can come true xoxo.
And where else to party other than Revolution? For all the Christmas sparkle, party vibes and more festive cocktails than you can shake a candy cane-shaped stick at, book your Christmas do with us now. We’ve got all you could ever want for Christmas and MORE.