Look, okay, we really shouldn’t be telling you this.

Seriously, we made a promise to the people of Torquay. A contract was signed. We were supposed to say their town had some nice features, a lot of potential but ultimately that it was just okay.

But we couldn’t lie to you, and we simply couldn’t let this A-MAZING town be so underrated any longer.

Here are the nine reasons you need to sell your house, your car, ruin your credit score, whatever it takes, to move to Torquay ASAP.

*Editor’s note: People from Torquay are not called Torquians. We totally made that up and actually have no idea what they’re called.

Stunning coastlines

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Beaches in the UK get a bit of a bad rep.

Let’s be real, it’s hard to think of a UK beach without disappointing donkey rides, empty cans of Irn Bru and seawater that’s colder than the inside of a freezer ALL coming to mind. Soz, Blackpool.

But that’s not the case with good ol’ Torquay. A focal part of the 22-mile-long coastline of the ‘English Riviera’, Torquay has everything from sandy beaches, cliffs, coves, and the type of turquoise waters you only see in pictures advertising Caribbean holidays. Hooray!

It’s a bit like Monaco

Okay, so Torquay isn’t a tax haven with its own ruling Prince, chock full of millionaires and Lewis Hamilton. We get that.

But with luxury high-rise apartments next to a harbour full of extravagant yachts, Torquay definitely has a Monte Carlo feel.

And thankfully, we’re glad it’s not like-for-like – cause it means the offie can’t get away with charging £6 for a small bottle of water.

Its got a cutesy coastal zoo

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While a typical zoo might consist of waiting 45 minutes to try and get a glimpse of a lion (hint: you won’t), Torquay has done things a little differently.

Their Living Coasts zoo is not only set on the beach (WIN), but features penguins, otters and loads more that you can actually get up close and personal with. Even we’ll admit, it is ca-UTE.

The bloody weather

Look, it’s a straight up fact that us Brits are obsessed with the weather.

Whether it’s meeting someone for the first time, breaking the ice in a job interview or bumping into your childhood sweetheart who broke your heart when you were eleven, we just have to talk about what’s going on in the sky.

Well, move to Torquay and expect to be saying phrases you’ve never used in the UK before like ‘lovely day’, ‘mild January’ and ‘pass me the sun cream’.

The delicious cream teas

The official town motto for Torquay is ‘venit aestus, subsisto fatigo pro crepito’, which, roughly translated from Latin means ‘come for the weather, stay for the cream teas’. Need we say more?

Okay, fine, that isn’t strictly true. Turns out Torquay doesn’t actually have a motto. But if it did…

Jurassic Park, on your doorstep

Ok, so Torquay might not have an actual T-Rex roaming around, but it definitely did a few million squillion years ago.

These days though, it HAS got Dinosaur World. This indoor, interactive, totally safe exhibition features fossils, creepy animatronic animals AND (almost) life-size reptilian remakes. And even though this particular park never got the Jeff Goldblum seal of approval, it’s still pretty sick.

Views, views, views

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If you’ve ever seen Kirsty and Phil’s Location, Location, Location (you know, those presenters with weird chemistry who aren’t-actually-married-but-definitely-should-be) you’ll know that when it comes to property, everyone loves a good view.

Well, it’s safe to say, views don’t get much better than in Torquay. If you’re after beautiful vistas and stunning panoramas, the harbours are unbeatable.

Babbacombe Bay has the highest cliff-top promenade in England, offering an amazing landscape of the entirety of South Devon.

But even better than that, it’s guaranteed to get you at LEAST 54 likes on Insta’. #Goals.

You will genuinely live longer

Whether it’s the sea air, the chilled atmosphere or all that bloomin’ Vitamin D from the CONSTANT sunshine, live expectancy in Torquay is LONG.

In Devon, people generally don’t die until they’re like, waaaay old. We’re talking late 80s, 90s, and even often hitting three-figures.

So, if you’re here for a long time AND a good time, Torquay is totally where it’s at.

The nightlife is decent

We do love to be beside the seaside.

There’s something about partying in a seaside town that gives the illusion of being on some Mediterranean getaway. This illusion is so real, it can’t ever broken. Even when your mate Phil threatens to whack the DJ for not playing enough Arctic Monkeys.

From summertime beach gatherings to Ibiza-style foam parties. It’s a one-of-a-kind nightlife scene.

And it’s about to get even better, with Revolution Torquay.

Revolution is coming to Torquay and we’ll be bringing extraordinary parties and our own brand of brilliant shizz. That’s right, think of the best cocktails you’ve ever tasted combined with the most perfect foodie pick-me-ups.

(Banner image credit: “Orlando Bloom at the 2005 Venice Film Festival” by Hengist Decius is licensed under CC BY 2.0)