It doesn’t matter what you do on the date as long as you’re together. Right?

Like, a trip to Paris is all well and good but a Bargain Bucket for 2 also works… yeah?

Erm… nah. Not quite.

Hopeless romantics and people who cry at Love Actually would have you think this, but they’re wrong. So bloody wrong. In short, the date idea matters a LOT. Gulp.

Fear not, we’ve come together to take you through the worst-of-the-worst when it comes to date ideas so you don’t end up single AF. Please don’t try these at home.

A night in watching QVC

You know what, if watching a chummy presenter trying to desperately sell you an LED-colour-changing-shower-head doesn’t get you a second date… We don’t know what will.

A Groupon deal for ‘Snooker with Chips and Soft Drink’

Yawn.

The only people bending at the waist with this kind of a date will be the snooker players.

A couple of hours spent jet washing each other’s driveways

Yeah, it’s satisfying. We’ll give you that.

But so is peeling the plastic film off a new phone. You’re not going to do that for a date, are you?!

Tickets to see Dynamo that are actually from 2005

Now, while Dynamo can probs travel back in time, we’re fairly confident you’re going to struggle.

A date like this is deffo going to make your love life an illusion.

ANY fast food outlet

This is all about context. Gettin’ 20 nuggets at 3am after a date-full of vodka? That’s a-okay, in fact, it’s encouraged.

Planning a Maccies for the main event? Nobody will be lovin’ it. Fluorescents are flattering to no one.

Visiting a dead relative’s graveside

Okay, you want to show your sensitive side. Got it.

Ever considered just sticking on Marley & Me? Please?

Make sure any flower bouquets are lovingly presented to boo, instead of being laid on the cold, hard ground… You absolute weirdo.

3 hours spent browsing camping equipment in Millets

Yep, get that sleeping bag. Sure, the tent as well. Best buy the insulated underwear, too.

Because you’re most definitely going to be left out in the cold, my friend.

A follow-up sexual health appointment

There are proper ways to reveal the results of your tests.

Leave a quick voicemail. Send a pic on Snapchat that expires after four seconds. Simply inform their best friend and wait.

Even if you’re itching to tell them, don’t make a date out of it.

Attending your ex’s birthday party

Oh, the humanity.

Are you the type of person who roots for memory loss while watching Finding Dory?

Well, this is the perfect date idea for you.

Don’t fancy losing bae this Valentine’s Day?

Well, we’ve got you covered. Forget these awful date ideas and treat ‘em to a romantic dinner at Revolution. We’ll be dimming the lights and turning up the Barry White… check out our food menu to start feeling the lurvvve and get booking!