Eggs, we think you are pretty special.

You’re versatile AF, Men’s Health says you’re pretty nutritious, and you didn’t even abandon us when we tweeted ‘eggs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be’ so we could bag a solid 43 likes.

Let’s be real, you really deserve better.

So, to start repaying some of your unbeaten loyalty, we’ve ranked some of the best ways to eat eggs. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed your eggy goodness throughout, saving the VERY BEST till last.

After reading this, we hope the phrase ‘bad egg’ will never be used again.

8. Hard-boiled eggs

They smell like your dad’s farts and they resemble eyeballs, but unfortunately hard-boiled eggs are a bit of a necessary evil. A bit like rich tea biscuits, broccoli or Paul Weller.

They’re not there to provide any happiness or joy. They’re simply there so people over 55 have something to bring to a buffet.

7. Baked Eggs

Avoid this insufferable hipster at all costs. This is the egg equivalent of smashed avocado on sourdough toast.

The type of egg usually found in Shoreditch, laughing at their own yolks and looking down on all the other eggs, telling them it preferred their ‘unfertilised stuff.’ Whatever the hell that means.

6. Scrambled Eggs

Depending on how they are cooked, scrambled eggs are either runny brains all over your plate or some kind of congealed egg-cake creation. Also, they totes look like sick.

5. Soft-boiled eggs a.k.a The Dippy Egg

At last, we’re finally getting somewhere. Essentially, the soft-boiled egg is the hard-boiled egg’s cool younger cousin, who sold cigarettes at school, was loved by almost everyone and looked great on top of a slice of toast.

Wait, what?

4. Poached Eggs

Poached eggs would probably top the list of the best ways to eat eggs if making them wasn’t so damn hard. Like seriously, you’re walking a tightrope of death between undercooked/snotty and overcooked/the consistency-of-rubber.

It’s far too easy to balls them up, leaving it too long and ending up with a hard-boiled disaster. Not long enough? Runny, liquid hell.

But when you get them right? Nothing makes us need a cold shower quicker than watching golden yolk splurge all over soft, white bread. Seriously, noth-ing.

3. Omelette

An omelette is not about eggs. It’s about you. Who you are as a person, your hopes, your dreams.

An omelette can be anything you want to it to be. Big and fluffy or thin and crispy, with an endless possibility of fillings. You are the architect of your own life. Like your omelette, you can be anything you want to be.

Unless, of course, you forget to add cheese. Then you’re just a d*ck.

2. Fried eggs

Perfect runny yolk? We’re feelin’ it. Cooked in beautiful bacon grease? Stop it, you flirt. Served on top of a burger? Now. You’re. Talking.

Fried eggs would almost be our undefeated winner, if it wasn’t for all the…

1. Chocolate Eggs

Look, what exactly did you expect from us? We know they’re not really eggs, and you also know this isn’t the bloody Guardian. We both knew what we were getting into here.

But come on, is there seriously anything better than gooey fondant, pretend-egg-goodness surrounded by thick, velvety chocolate?

 

Well, actually… What if it was triple-distilled and served in a shot glass?

Sure, you can get Chocolate Egg Handcrafted Flavour. It makes a triumphant return to all our bars every Easter. And it is so. damn. good.

Seriously, even if we cracked, beat and whisked all of the world’s egg-based puns, we wouldn’t come close to describing just how decadently taste this is.

Sure, you have to wait until a certain time of year to taste it, but why not check out all our other super duper flavours in the meantime? From Melted Ice Cream to Watermelon to Mango & Pineapple… They’re all WELL good.

Get yourself involved and book a table, and find your favourite of our THIRTY handcrafted flavours.