Now, we all know that drinking like a fish has been around since exactly FIVE whole minutes after the invention of alcohol, right? But surely it’s only students (and smashed old grannies on sherry) who drink that heavily…
As in, nobody famous from history has ever got so drunk, they ran trouserless through the city at 3am, with a chihuahua under one arm and a kebab in the other, crying FREEDOM in a Scottish accent. Right?
Well, they might not have done that specific example, which was definitelyjustsomeoneweknowandnotus (so stop thinking it was). But if you look through the history books, there’s plenty of famous faces who loved a drink or two. Or twelve.
So sit back, pick your tipple, and let us round up (not literally, ‘cause they’re all dead and it would be an absolute riot) history’s most functional boozehounds.
Back in Cleopatra’s day, drinking was mainly a man’s pastime. Sure, women of lower classes could hit the bottle shame-free, but in most ancient civilisations it wasn’t very ladylike to get absolutely smashed.
Yes, wine was about the ONLY thing you had to drink, but it was generally sipped slowly by ladies of nobility… Who swiftly retired to chambers when they felt a bit beery.
Unless of course, you’re the Queen of f***ing Egypt, then it’s alright. Cleo loved the booze so much she would literally bathe in her favourite red wine, and if you ask us, that’s life goals right there.
It’s safe to say, Britain’s most celebrated prime minister certainly knew how to celebrate.
While supervising the day-to-day affairs of a society and military that spanned the entire world, Churchill was never more than four metres away from his favourite bottle of whiskey. Whilst penning his famous speeches. And winning wars. And NEVER once whining of a hangover.
In short, Churchill was probably the most functional lush that ever lived.
Vincent Van Gogh
Now, Van Gogh wasn’t your standard binge drinker. Let’s just say, he wasn’t downing pints at pres to save money on the night out.
Nope, the legendary Dutch painter’s drink of choice was absinthe, the powerful liquor nicknamed ‘The Green Fairy’.
In fact, it was Van Gogh who popularised the infamous emerald intoxicant once he became a famous painter. Today, a brand of the stuff even bears his name.
Nope, Vincent loved the green stuff. He just couldn’t get enough. He would get so wasted, then create some of the world’s most well-known works of art. And then he cut off his ear.
The Queen Mother
She may have lived to the ripe old age of 101, but the Queen Mother was famous for a life of heavy – and expensive – drinking.
Unsurprisingly, her tipple of choice was gin. She LOVED a bit of the ol’ laughing syrup, and was rumoured to get through 70 units a WEEK. In a country that now recommends women drink just 14 units a week.
God save the Queen… Mum!
He remains one of America’s most iconic crooners… And sauce guzzlers for that matter. In between making platinum records and generally being the coolest guy in every room, ol’ Blue Eyes was never too far from a tumbler of his fav whiskey.
So much so, Sinatra was even buried with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his coat pocket. Talk about commitment to your favourite bevvy. Can we be buried with a glass of Strawberry Woo Woo?
The embodiment of the tortured writer, Hemingway was a famously heavy drinker. Once ordered by doctors to curb his habit, he tried to limit himself to just three Scotches before dinner.
Suffice to say, he couldn’t pull it off. Nor could he cut out his breakfast gin or his midday snack of absinthe, vodka and a mojito.
His infamous work mantra was ‘Write drunk; edit sober’. But our question is, when did he have time to edit?
Now, if these booze-lovers prove one thing, it’s that there has always been a huge demand for a premium tipple throughout history. And who’s been providing it for more than 300 years? None other than the Nolet distillery of course!
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll know that we’ve teamed up with the Dutch family distillery, a.k.a producers of Ketel One.
We’ve taken their super premium-tasting vodka and used it to create a batch of amazing cocktails for our brand spanking new drinks menu.
Go on, check it out, and get discovering the signature drink you’re going to be known for. Or buried with. Whatever.