When it comes to putting together gorgeous cocktails, we’re kind of a big deal. Our mixologists are experts in crafting the very finest ingredients to make the crazily good concoctions you see in our bars every day. However, as this downright awful selection shows, some people just really need to step away from the shaker. So, on with the gross show.

 

1. The Smokers Cough

 

 

A mouthwatering combination of Jägermeister and mayonnaise (yes, really) mixed together in shot glass. It looks disgusting and tastes absolutely awful. Well, we can’t say for certain because there is no way that we are ever going to try it.

 

2. The Bath Cure

 

 

No, it does not contain actual bathwater. But it does contain white rum, gold rum, light rum, 151-proof rum, brandy, and vodka. It’s okay though, there is orange juice and grenadine in it too. So, it’s pretty much a soft drink, right?

 

3. Horse Jizz

 

 

Half beer. Half milk. Fully vomit-inducing.

 

4. Cement Mixer

 

 

Lime juice followed by a shot of Baileys. So far, so normal. Oh, did we mention the two will congeal into a sticky mass when they combine in your mouth? Hence it’s name. Urgh.

 

5. Prairie Oyster

 

 

An enticing mix of bourbon, Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper and raw egg yolk. Now, some people contest that this is actually a decent cocktail. These people need to be avoided at all costs.

 

6. Bloody Tampon

 

 

Mix together whisky, vodka, tequila, tomato juice, lemon juice and Baileys to create…well, we can all see where this is going. Foul.

 

7. Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse

 

 

Jim Beam, Jack Daniel’s, Jameson, Johnnie Walker Black and Bacardi 151. Also serves well as an industrial paint stripper.

 

8. Hot Mexican Hooker

 

 

This one is both horrid and hilarious. Tequila, Tabasco sauce and the juice from a tin of tuna. Mmmm, fishy.

 

9. Motor Oil

 

 

Well Jagermeister, peppermint schnapps, cinnamon schnapps and coconut rum doesn’t sound so bad, does it? But just wait until you have to swallow that thick, sweet, black mess. 

 

10. Infected Whitehead

 

 

A hellish mixture of vodka, tomato juice and cottage cheese. What is life?

 

Unsurprisingly none of these dreadful creations made it onto our drinks menu. We filled it with loads of awesome drinks instead.