When it comes to putting together gorgeous cocktails, we’re kind of a big deal. Our mixologists are experts in crafting the very finest ingredients to make the crazily good concoctions you see in our bars every day. However, as this downright awful selection shows, some people just really need to step away from the shaker. So, on with the gross show.

1. The Smokers Cough


A mouthwatering combination of Jägermeister and mayonnaise (yes, really) mixed together in shot glass. It looks disgusting and tastes absolutely awful. Well, we can’t say for certain because there is no way that we are ever going to try it.

2. The Bath Cure


No, it does not contain actual bathwater. But it does contain white rum, gold rum, light rum, 151-proof rum, brandy, and vodka. It’s okay though, there is orange juice and grenadine in it too. So, it’s pretty much a soft drink, right?

3. Horse Jizz


Half beer. Half milk. Fully vomit-inducing.

4. Cement Mixer


Lime juice followed by a shot of Baileys. So far, so normal. Oh, did we mention the two will congeal into a sticky mass when they combine in your mouth? Hence it’s name. Urgh.

5. Prairie Oyster


An enticing mix of bourbon, Tabasco sauce, Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper and raw egg yolk. Now, some people contest that this is actually a decent cocktail. These people need to be avoided at all costs.

6. Bloody Tampon


Mix together whisky, vodka, tequila, tomato juice, lemon juice and Baileys to create…well, we can all see where this is going. Foul.

7. Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse


Jim Beam, Jack Daniel’s, Jameson, Johnnie Walker Black and Bacardi 151. Also serves well as an industrial paint stripper.

8. Hot Mexican Hooker


This one is both horrid and hilarious. Tequila, Tabasco sauce and the juice from a tin of tuna. Mmmm, fishy.

9. Motor Oil


Well Jagermeister, peppermint schnapps, cinnamon schnapps and coconut rum doesn’t sound so bad, does it? But just wait until you have to swallow that thick, sweet, black mess. 

10. Infected Whitehead


A hellish mixture of vodka, tomato juice and cottage cheese. What is life?

Unsurprisingly none of these dreadful creations made it onto our drinks menu. We filled it with loads of awesome drinks instead.

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